Indentity as a writer

   I was in 4th grade when I realized I loved writing. I was able to express myself and have my voice be heard when I was too timid to say what I wanted to. Writing has always been an escape and a place where I can harvest my thoughts and be able to free my mind and create new worlds and new characters when living in reality isn't enough. I had an English teacher in 11th grade that encouraged me to continue writing. He consistently tried to convince me to drop that class and transfer to an advanced English class. I refused. I loved that in his class, we were able to write without boundaries and our grades would be based on our writing, rather than if you showed up to class and followed the rules. I was afraid that by going from that class to an advance one, I'd lose that escape because those classes only provided the formal setting for writing where they spent most of their time learning about the rules. There was no freedom to write and I'd be resentful towards the one thing I loved. So I stayed. I felt that by giving us this freedom, it allowed me to grow as a writer and continue to pursue this passion for writing.
 
   A lot of my heroes and heroines are writers. It's inspiring to be able to pick up one of their books or any material they've written, and be transported into their minds. These are masterpieces that once were just simple ideas. It's comforting to know that not all author's had easy starts. They all weren't experience and well respected scribes. They didn't have every single person backing them and their ideas up. They probably still don't. But I believe that's what makes them unique. That's what makes someone a writer. As a writer, I don't want my ideas and stories to be watered down and conform to what's "in" at the moment. My identity as a writer will be about how much it moves a person and inspires them, not about how many people read it or how many copies it sold.

   Given an appropriate environment where an idea can flow freely will produce better papers. Encouragement from teachers and even society, when rules and society weighs down individuality, I believe can help make better writers. With writing I am able to gain the confidence I never knew I had and be able to say what I wished I could've said. I can be anyone when I sit down and write. In the next four years, or even beyond that, I hope to grow as a writer and always stand firmly in my beliefs towards writing. Writing shouldn't be a chore or a ticket to the next class, or job, or step. Instead I want writing to always be a passion and something I can always improve on. I want to inspire others, but also be inspired by others. I'm fully aware that there is inspiration everywhere, especially inside ourselves.

A writer's struggle

   To some, writing can be a hassle that feels like hard work, rather than it being something enjoyable. I've always loved writing, but after reading Mike Rose's blog, I realized I am a victim to a lot of the struggles that come with writing. First off, I ramble on and on and sometimes don't take into consideration that I don't have to fill an essay with unnecessary details. That doesn't mean I have to sum up an entire paper in one paragraph or leave out details. Instead I have to plan ahead before I sit and begin writing. I should outline what are the absolutely important details to make the paper flow and be interesting, but most importantly, still allow it to sound like me. He described a student that refused to write a first draft. The student jumped into the final draft because he wanted his fresh thoughts to be poured onto the paper, without considering how crucial it is to make sure what you're writing makes sense and doesn't jump from point to point and back to the original point. I am guilty of this. I've always despised having to write a paper and then revise it and then do that process another two times, until FINALLY, I can write my final draft. But to be an effective writer and produce a high quality paper, you MUST do this. It opened my eyes and made me realize that by doing this process, I can not only be myself and express my thoughts clearly, but I can also follow the basic rules of writing.

Indentity

   The one thing I could always identify with would have to be writing. Everything I could have and wished I would've said could be poured onto paper. I've always been painfully shy, so being able to create a whole different world where I was the main character and I could transport anywhere and be anyone was always a beautiful release.

   I've always been passionate about books, music, but especially movies. All require practice and especially a passion to create something different. I really doubt any artist would want to be a carbon copy of someone else. I believe movies especially let someone step outside of the norm. Look at surreal films. It's something you've probably never seen before and it sticks with you. I'd hope to one day be able to do the same. Be a different kind of writer. Not be able to boxed into a certain genre. It would be amazing to be able to create a new kind of genre. Writing allows you to create new dimensions and unique characters and push the boundaries of what is socially acceptable.

 

    I've always been interested in screenwriting which is completely different from regular essay writing. In a screenplay, you can write minimal details and dialogue, while an essay would require it to be stuffed with details and most likely more dialogue. I love writing that requires no structure or rules because the best kind of writing in my opinion is the one that is a little off. Being unique should never be written off as being wrong. I would want to be a different kind of writer. A visionary. Some of the greatest (also my favorite) directors were originally written off as crazy and their movies as trash. Take Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece, 2001: A Space Odyssey. (Which he directed, produced, and co-wrote with Arthur C. Clarke) When it was first released, it was received mixed reviews. Now it's regarded as being possibly the greatest science fiction movie of all time. He was ahead of his time and people were afraid. But that's sometimes the outcome that comes with being a different writer. Personally, I think it's worth it. Because I would want it to inspire others to also believe in their stories. My hero Stanley Kubrick helped me realize this, and hopefully one day someone reading one of my stories or even hopefully seeing a film by me could be inspired to be themselves and write about what they love. Because in the end being a little different is what makes a writer great.

"If it can be written, or thought, it can be filmed." -S. Kubrick

Autonomy. Mastery. Purpose

   As I watched the video of Mr. Dan Pink's speech, three main points stood out to me the most. Three points that I could very well use every day and hopefully use for the rest of my life.

1.  Autonomy: the urge to direct our own lives.

   That's a strong point for someone who one day hopes to direct films. For the longest time, I've found it difficult to make any simple decision, let alone decide where I want to direct my life. Even if it's as simple as telling myself to do a good job in everyday situations, like school or work, I honestly have no motivation if it's not something I want to do for the rest of my life. I need to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, because at times it feels like I'm slowly sinking into a dark abyss under my feet. Which lead me to the second point he made.

     2.   Mastery: the desire to get better and better at something that matters.

   This point is what really reeled me in. Knowing I could put my mind and dedication towards something that matters to me is what hopefully most people wish for in life. Why be stuck doing something that is remotely bearable and instead get better and better at something that matters? For some it seems too perfect, or like Mr. Pink said, "utopian." But even if it did seem too perfect and far fetched, there's no hurt in just trying. I'd rather struggle towards my goal and not have a safety because at least I could sleep at night knowing the next day won't be just another day at work. Instead it would be another day in life. It's a scary risk to drop everything and focus on the one thing you'd want to get better at, but at least in the end, you can know what it feels like to be your own master inching your way towards your dream.

   3.   Purpose: the yearning to do what we do in the service of something larger than ourselves.

   I believe that this is what should motivate everyone. The purpose in our lives is that we have purpose. Instead of asking why we're here, just accept it and do. Help others, motivate, be positive. Knowing that this is an inspiration or not is what should keep us sane. As simple or as complex, there's a bigger goal to every person's dream. Your one simple idea could one day employ thousands of people. Your one song or short story or even film could one day inspire millions. Instead of thinking why, think why not. Know that there's a bigger picture to be drawn and as vibrant or transparent your color is, it will still be apart of a masterpiece.